A guide to Conduct a perfect Bachelor party
The Best Way to Arrange a Bachelor Party
The majority of non-professionals believe that organising a bachelor party is as easy as setting up a golf foursome or carrying out a bank heist in a small New Hampshire hamlet. But because of this, the majority of laypeople aren’t asked to suggest themes for bachelor parties.
Don’t misunderstand me; organising a bachelor party is among the most intricate, risky, and difficult things a man will ever do. This is the reason I wrote this comprehensive, foolproof instruction. If you heed the following advice, your friend is likely to have the time of his life and, at long last, won’t regret choosing you as his best man instead of Chad.
You must first sit down with the bachelor and decide on the following four points:
1. Determine your destination and departure time.
Some bachelors rely on their planners to make decisions, but those people are foolish. You should be prepared for this talk by having a solid notion of three locations or destinations* based on the bachelor’s preferences. By giving him those options (and the justifications for each), you may maintain him within the boundaries you’ve set while giving the appearance that you’re relinquishing him authority. This is significant since some bachelors are prevented from viewing additional, possibly spectacular woodlands because every tree bears a Las Vegas advertisement. I’m essentially paraphrasing The Art of War.
Next, you choose a date that works for the bachelor, is at least six weeks out, and doesn’t coincide with a regular holiday or a well-liked vacation weekend that others may already have scheduled a trip around.
*A brief word about bachelor party locations: if the groom-to-be wants to travel abroad, that is acceptable, but you need to let him know that this will significantly reduce the number of attendees—at least by half or more—and eliminate most people who are in debt and have children. If he doesn’t just want to go to a cabin and act weird, you should suggest locations where there are lots of things to do nearby, the cost is reasonable, and women are present. College towns, warm-weather cities with lively bar scenes, etc. We want you to utilise your imagination and base your trip on the interests of your friends, so we won’t provide you with a list of cities.
2. Determine your accommodation.
It truly comes down to a hotel vs. house debate here (unless everyone travelling is from Maine, don’t go camping). With a house, everyone is present, gatherings are more naturally organised, and you frequently have access to amenities like grills, private pools, and enigmatic hidden closets that are probably home to dozens of hoax Holy Grails and one genuine chalice of perpetual youth. The same goes with towels.
Hotels offer access to bars and restaurants inside the same structure, public pools where it’s possible to see girls hanging out, and a way to get away from the travellers you don’t like. Hotels typically also indicate a central Downtown location, improving the possibility of walking to additional attractions.
In many cases, this is a straightforward city vs. rural debate, and the choice will be made for you. Nevertheless, it is beneficial for the person intending to have researched both choices in the selected city and be prepared to express an opinion.
3. A note on size, sometimes known as the guest list
The bachelor will inevitably overestimate the desire of everyone he asks to put aside their commitments to their lives, families, and jobs in order to join him for six days in Thailand. You have the responsibility of revising and resetting his expectations as the Bachelor King’s Hand. Additionally, I want to implore him to keep the group size as small as possible, which is 10 people. If you go over that, you’ll typically have to split up tables at restaurants and bars, which will splinter the group and damage the social dynamic.
Set up a separate one-night event in your city with a larger invite list to assure a small group while also satisfying the desire to invite the bride’s siblings, father, or any other awkward future family members. In other words, something that will make them feel included while shielding them from witnessing the bachelor maybe fall in love with a stripper, like a lovely supper and a trip to a cigar bar. This leaves the real invitees free to just be devout believers or individuals who have shaky personal ties to their marriages and will literally look for any justification to leave their houses.
4. Interpret the list’s social dynamic
Make the bachelor break down the guest list’s balance of allegiances for you before hanging up the phone. Ask him who is on it, what types of people they are, what their wet hair looks like, etc. This information is crucial because you’ll need the bachelor’s help in selecting your own lieutenants so that you can form a Bachelor Party Steering Committee (BPSC) that includes members who have the respect of all relevant constituencies, such as friends from high school, college, and the workplace.
The closest analogy to how we choose our president would be organising a bachelor party. The members of the BPSC essentially take the role of super delegates in the presidential nomination contests; they have the option of voting their conscience and ignoring the wishes of their constituency. Whatever happens, someone always ends up shooting Paul Tsongas in the body.
Create the plan
You should gather everyone together, order Burmese food, and make plans for the weekend now that the BPSC has been created. You should create a rough agenda before these people arrive at your home (or a pub, if you don’t trust them). You guys will waste too much time “brainstorming” and spinning your wheels if you don’t have a strategy beforehand, and that beautiful Burmese tea leaf salad will start to wilt, spoiling your week.
When organising the actual activities, keep in mind these two rules:
A) Ensure that practically everything (except from a few important events) is opt-in.
In other words, you have the option to do it but are not required to. Make sure individuals are aware of the approximate costs of opting in as well.
B) Avoid overbooking events.
I’m typing in caps lock since this is so crucial. People, especially those who are inebriated, aren’t typically inclined to do a lot of things, and the majority will view simply leaving the house to eat brisket as a moral accomplishment for the day. So whenever possible, try to keep things simple and low-impact.
Assemble your email
You can send the email to the entire group once you have the agenda (see our sample version below for details). Being brief, humorous, and informative is the key to the email. You must complete the following five tasks:
Determine who is entering and leaving.
B) Obtain their contact information (cell, etc.) and any potential travel details.
C) Describe the essential information and anticipated costs in detail to prevent surprises.
All of the bachelor’s activities (within reason) are typically covered by bachelor parties, with the exception of his airfare. Of course, no one has to jump in front of the bartender as he gives the bachelor his credit card if he wants to order himself a mango mojito at the bar.
D) Make it mandatory for everyone to download PayPal or Venmo so that payments can be made as easily as feasible.
Additionally, Splitwise is used to split the bill at the end of the trip (it links to Venmo and is very easy). And if there are any particularly shady characters among you, maybe WhatsApp.
E) Include a couple vicious burns and at least one embarrassing photo of the bachelor passing out while wearing a Lion-O from the ThunderCats costume—provided it’s not NSFW.
It is not necessary to disclose every aspect. The schedule is just a CliffNotes version. In relation to…
The Unquestionably Ideal Sample Agenda
THURSDAY:
3-5pm: A small group arrives in the late afternoon (you can invite everyone on Thursday, but most people will probably turn you down because they view it as a bonus day). Take care of some basic grocery needs for the home or bachelor room (if you have 10, often no more than four to five guests show up on Thursday):
Beer (macro 30-racks for casual drinking, a few bombers of good stuff for the males with facial hair) (macro 30-racks for casual drinking, a few bombers of good stuff for the dudes with facial hair)
A couple alcohol bottles (NOTE: Don’t purchase a lot of alcohol. You’ll forfeit the security deposit for the house and the Chads will act sloppily and out of control.)
Mixers
Citrus Water Cooler morning gallons of Gatorade
Snacks: Crunch Berries cereal (jerky, pretzels, party mix, peanut butter Twix, etc.)
Bagels
Cheese, cream
5-7pm: You enjoy some cocktails, either from your groceries or at a bar, to mark the end of logistics.
8pm: Dinner at a hip restaurant that is too small to accommodate the entire group.
10 p.m. to??? : Visit some desirable bars that you were unable to visit with the group. The bachelor should enjoy himself, but not to the point of ruining the next day’s plans.
FRIDAY:
10–3pm: This is the time to plan an activity that the bachelor would enjoy but that you wouldn’t want to make the group do as a whole. Golf. Clay pigeon shooting. Portuguese subtitles are available for The Pelican Brief. You need to make it clear that not everyone has to do whatever it is.
3–7 p.m.: The remainder of the group will show up. You ought to have a happy hour at your main gathering place. If you own a home, that’s acceptable, but if you’re staying somewhere else, you should head to the hotel bar or the pool.
8 o’clock: Large group dinner out. There are a few ground rules for this dinner: choose a location with a private room so you can be assholes to each other privately without the entire establishment witnessing the catastrophe; choose a menu in advance and have it served family-style; make a brief, funny toast at some point; and do not choose a steakhouse.
Steakhouses are outrageously expensive, never as good as you expect them to be, and—worst of all—they fill you up and make you feel uneasy the rest of the night until you’re actually forced to endure the humiliation of pooping at a strip club, which has to be a low point in any man’s life.
10 p.m.: Bar or nightclub
It will ultimately depend on the preferences of the bachelor. You should be considerate of the bachelor’s discomfort if he is one of those people who actually detests strip clubs rather than just saying it when they’re around women. But now that he’s had a few drinks and the in vino veritas clause has taken effect, you should at least give him the choice.
If he wants to visit a strip club, you ought to already be aware of where to go and have recommendations for the best ones.
Everyone should agree to chip in ahead of time to get dances for the bachelor, preferably in private so you don’t have to awkwardly stare at him. Otherwise, the group will quickly turn selfish once you enter. At the club, 90 minutes is more than enough time. After 90, take him out and head to a bar. Please. for the benefit of us all.
You should already know where you’re going if he prefers the bar route (or if you’re going there after the club). This is not the time to be cool and hip; you need a big bar with loud music where girls hang out, not a place in Super Mario 3 that you have to enter through a warp level to get a modernised version of a Monkey Gland.
Late: If you’re considerate and sane enough to do it, think about ordering a bunch of late-night pizzas, burgers, or other foods to fill everyone up before they fall asleep. When guests act in this way at weddings, they are heros. So that’s something to think about, especially if you’re uneasy.
SATURDAY:
11. Get some food. A fool’s errand is brunch. Since you undoubtedly forgot to order pizza last night, you are a smart person and will do something cool like place a large order for breakfast sandwiches, tacos, or burritos. Have them delivered to the house or bachelor’s hotel room, or, if food trucks or fast-casual counter service restaurants are nearby and you can walk to them, just let people know you’re going and leave.
1pm: Your daily opt-in/opt-out activity. Here is a list to serve as a reminder of what works and what doesn’t:
Traditional Bachelor Party Mistakes
fishing at depths
Rafting on a lazy river
“Experiences” with driving
Go-karting
that dreadful steak dinner
Various types of cigar tours
Concerts
(IT’S JUST A TOUR, DAMMIT, HIDDEN BEHIND BEER) Breweries
Hunting (animals or humans) (animals or humans)
Activities for a Valid Bachelor Party
hanging out at a lake, beach, or pool
bar hopping
games that include drinking
renting out boats (NOT deep-sea diving)
Golf opt-in/opt-out
beer patios
waterfalls or hot springs
Playing dominoes and gambling with Sean Bean
7 p.m.: A casual meal. Pizza delivery, a barbecue joint with large communal tables, burgers—anything low-key and without a reservation—could be included. If you want to have a good time on Saturday night, you should try to recharge as much as you can on Friday because that’s usually when people go too hard.
9 pm: Fresh bars. even a casino. Ideally the South Lake Tahoe casino, so your friend can win $2200 playing craps and, on a whim, get tickets for everyone to watch Sting and Peter Gabriel.
Leave at 1 a.m. The bachelor will probably be losing steam by this point because he has already completely ruined his life. Just give a call.
SUNDAY:
Earlier: Leave immediately. Seriously, get there as soon as you can. With a follow-up email and those cool payment apps from previously, you can settle the matter. Nobody ever gains by loitering on a Sunday. Never look back as you proceed to walk away.